10.5 Weeks - minus 44 pounds

Shit! I should have read my last post. Not sure if I said that I ordered books on emaotional eating and post-op cook books. I just got the emotional eating books and am excited about reading them. I've been throwing up way too much lately.

I need to get to the gym! At least I will be swimming with Wyatt tomorrow night and mowing the lawn on Sunday. Wyatt and I will go walking on Sat morning before my training.

I'm going through a stage where all I've been eating is Vietnamese chicken soup. It last me 4 meals. It helped me lose some pounds faster too.

I know there was something else I wanted to write, but I can't remember now.

I'm a Little Lost

I got to 40lbs on Tuesday morning, but this morning the scale says I'm at 37 again! Not sure what the deal is. I've been eating healthy. I haven't been drinking as much as I should. Its hard to get the liquids in when I am at school as we're not allowed to have drinks in class. Ive also been enjoying a couple cups of tea each day. One in the morning and one in the evening after dinner. I think I'm going to start my periods though - that could be the issue...

I miss veggies. I am going to start trying to eat soft cooked veggies this evening. Some people Iknow are already eating salads (raw veggies) but I am afraid to in case I get sick.

Today I threw up a few times. I guess I ate my 2 tablespoons of chicken breast and 1 tablespoon of avocado too quickly. I still feel queezy - I ate that 6 hrs ago!

Sometimes when I eat I feel guilty if I don't get sick afterwards. I did eat 1/2 a cookie a couple days ago and I tolderated it - that scared the heck out of me. I'd feel better if I had gotten violently ill afterwards. A lot of people at the support group told me that its okay to eat things in moderation, then the other half says to treat yourself like an alcoholic and to stay away from sugar etc...

So...I'm a little lost. I suppose I shouldn't have tried the cookie - but after 2 months I found the temptation too much...I threw them all out.

7 weeks and -37lbs

Yesterday was my 7 week anniversary. I've lost 37 pounds. So that's 22lbs in the first two weeks and then 3lbs per week since. This week has been hard as we've been running lots of errands getting ready for Eric's departure. He's been eating out a lot. Today I didn't eat until 5pm and then I overate by a ounce or so. I've been vomitting since.

Its hard to gauge how much. I really wasn't hungry today, but then when I got off from school and realized Eric wasn't comming home, I wanted to eat. This is one of those things I need to get a grip on. Definately a reason I put on the weight - I'm an emotional eater.

My energy seems to be almost 100% again. I think I am going to try out a trip to the gym tomorrow. That's exciting. I'd love to lose 3 lbs this week for a total of 40. That might be unrealistic, but its fun to hope.

I've been worrying about saggy skin. My legs seem to be the worst. I don't know if the military will operate on my legs. I do know they will give me tummy tuck after one year. I am hoping that I am near my goal at 1 year (-100lbs) and that I can have the cosmetic surgeries before Eric comes home on mid-tour next summer...